I let this day become not mine, and I feel the worse for it right now. This will continue to be one of my great struggles: how do I stay focused on what I need in a world clamoring for "just a minute" or "just this one quick thing"? It's clear from today that I don't have a good answer to this just now. I didn't work out, and I feel shitty about it. I know that now I need to put that out I my head and face tomorrow, but...I hear that voice, that small, ugly drone:
"Forty-one days, and you fall off now? How pathetic. Why bother? You can't commit. You'll fail, like you always do. Stop fooling yourself. You were meant to die too fat, too young..."
That voice - it's my albatross, my burden, my own personal demon sent from the depths of my scarred heart. How do you ignore your own whispering mind? I hope with my bellowing, singing, Bollywood-dancing heart.
Maiṁ yaha kara sakatā hai. Mērā dila rāstā mila jā'ēgā.
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