Day 17/18 - 'cause I've had WAY too much coffee

For those millions of you out there following my every word, you might recall I decided to learn how to sing/pronounce my Bollywood songs correctly in Hindi. So, for those of you taking up the cause, two things:
One, I'm changing the name of the blog.
 Two, come learn Chammak Challo along with me.

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BTW, I'm pretty sure he's saying "shawty" and not "surely". Exhibit A: definition from ye olde Urban Dictionary - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shawty
Exhibit B: quote from the movie "Drumline": " Shawties to the left, shawties to the dog gone right!" (Yes, I'm far too old for the Urban Dictionary or the movie Drumline. Sue me.) so, come on shawty, sing it!

Day 17 - 276ish

Something is odd about my scale. I weighed about seven different times right in a row, standing in various directions: front, back, sideways, left foot, right foot...each reading was different, with a range of 4 or so pounds. I really wanted to put the low score, 273, but I resisted for the sake of honesty.

I'm still as frustrated as hell, but I haven't lost my resolve yet...at least, not today.

Today's fat lady reality check: the heat is not your friend. I hate sweat. Really, I'm not exaggerating - I well and truly hate it with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns. I've noticed something about Bollywood movies - they REALLY like wet people. There always seems to be one wet T-shirt contest style number. When I'm flinging sweat everywhere to Marjaani Marjaani ( not a wet number, I might add), I think to myself, "this is NOT what Yash Chopra has in mind.". Eewwwww.

Breakfast - coffee. I know - that sucks. I paid for it at about 4 PM, too.
Lunch - 2 sticks of string cheese and a handful of pepitas.
Dinner - too much Swiss cheese with brown mustard and more coffee (another mistake which I'm paying for at the moment - I feel like I'm about to scale the walls Spiderman-style at 11:45 PM)

Exercise - my very own wet number to Dhadak Dhadak (LOVE IT!), 2 Chammak Challo, 2 Criminal, and 2 Marjaani Marjaani, then cool down to Haule Haule and Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai

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Day 16 - ugh

No change. It's hard not to be discouraged.

Breakfast - crab and arugula omelette
Lunch - 2 1/2 turkey sliders with blue cheese
Dinner - salad from Freebirds, no rice, no beans, a bit of pico

Exercise - laundry

I need to catch a break, and soon.

Saw a new routine on the movie Bunty Aur Babli, which I have to admit was surprisingly adorable. Very rigorous - maybe it will shake me out of this funk I'm in...I hope.

Day 15 - 277 and back in the game

I ate great, did a brutal round of Jazzercise, then went out with friends and did a swan dive off of the wagon. I didn't eat anything, but I certainly took in 5 times my share of empty calories.

The next day, yesterday, I didn't feel as physically badly as I deserved, but I felt plenty bad enough emotionally. I spent the entire day feeling uselessly guilty and sorry for myself. I didn't eat that much, but I also didn't get off of the couch, not even to exercise. By the time the Olympics started, I was thoroughly disgusted. I went to bed ready to get back on the horse.

So, today...
Breakfast - the usual
Lunch - 4 slider patties and horseradish sour cream

Exercise - warmed up with Haule Haule, then did two rounds of Om Shanti Om, which is so fun - I can't wait for the movie to get here! - three rounds of Chammak Challo (not the routine from YouTube, but the real thing because I needed some therapeutic Shah Rukh Khan), one Round of Criminal, and cool down to Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai (same reason).

Watching Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham for the second time because it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Next on the queue is Billu, and we all know how much I love Marjaani Marjaani!

Day 12 - 277

Breakfast - leftovers from Cheesecake Factory (feel free to refer to yesterday)
Lunch - at Carino's Italian. Trust me when I tell you my options were thin at best. I ended up with half of a chicken Caesar salad with artichokes.
Dinner - about 6 oz of chili-seasoned ground beef over cilantro and arugula with a little dollop of sour cream. Don't judge - it was spicy and delicious.

Exercise - warmed up to Luck Aazma, then did 1 round of Criminal, 2 rounds of Chammak Challo, and then 3 heavy duty rounds of Marjaani Marjaani before cooling down to Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai. I just love Marjaani Marjaani - the dance number is a blast to do, and Shah Rukh Khan looks fantastic. Billu is next on my Netflix queue (I just got Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham today - romantic sigh), and it looks great. On the subject of King Khan's movies, can I just say...

I read an article online, an editorial really, talking about how Shah Rukh Khan should act more like Brad Pitt Nd George Clooney and embrace more "mature" roles. Respectfully, I call bullshit on two counts: first, George Clooney could only wish to have a body like Shah Rukh Khan, and Brad Pitt is still more than happy to play the badass (Inglourious Basterds). Second, did this person see "My Name is Khan"? "Chak de India"? Here's the deal - he's unquestionably still fit enough to be believable with a 26-year old actress. I mean, really, have you SEEN those abs???? Day-amn!!!! But he doesn't simply stick to that traditional type. He's doing exactly what King Brad it doing.

So, there. A little editorial from the fat lady. Deal with it. :D

Day 11 - 279

Breakfast - the usual
Lunch - salmon "salad" with canned salmon, mayo, & chives
Dinner - I went to the Cheesecake Factory, and they had the perfect dinner...on the breakfast menu! It's called The Energy Breakfast: scrambled egg whites, sliced tomato, and a grilled chicken breast with spinach and mushrooms. I added a bit of blue cheese, and presto - low-carb perfection. It was, of course, huge, so I ate only half, and I felt completely full. Rock star.

I didn't work out until 8:30 tonight, which I don't love - I'm going to try to avoid that from now on. The usual routine. Time to look for some new material so I don't get bored. I thought I night try to do the Bawre Bawre routine from Luck by Chance, although it looks hard as hell. We'll see...

Day Ten -278 (that's RIGHT, baby)

Fin-al-LY, some progress. I could get on the scale tomorrow and be back at 283, but for today, it feels really, really good.

I had an intense workout - I'm not sure what it was, but I felt in the zone today. I warmed up to Criminal, then did three rounds of Chammak Challo and three BRUTAL rounds of Marjaani Marjaani. I finished with 1 round of Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte and 1 round of Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai.

I heard this new song (well, new to me) called Luck Aazma, and it's rockin'. I'm definitely going to check out the movie.

Breakfast - Greek yogurt and peanut butter
Lunch - grilled salmon and a butt-load of broccoli...still dealing with that portion control issue
Dinner - 8 oz. steak with blue cheese

Stayin' strong...'cause I've gotta.

Day Nine - 281

Almost didn't get this one in - the day got away from me. I got to listen to another "earnest talk" from my dad...I don't know why he can't understand that telling me "it's so simple" is so completely defeating. I did get my mom to admit that my Bollywood tunes were "pretty perfect for dancing". I'm gonna win the world over one convert at a time!

Dinner last night - I don't even remember...some grilled meat from my fridge, and some radishes
Breakfast - Greek yogurt with pumpkin seeds
Lunch - one grilled chicken breast from KFC
Dinner - lunch meat turkey, cheese, mayo on lettuce
Snack - Jif to Go

Exercise - first thing this morning, and I felt great doing it: 1 round of Haule Haule to warm up, 4 rounds of Chammak Challo, 4 rounds of Marjaani Marjaani, and Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai to cool down. Then, wading around the pool in the afternoon for a while.

A better day - hope it's a trend.

BTW, all you haters, I thought RA.One ROCKED THE HOUSE, baby! I'd be his Chammak Challo any DAY.

Day Eight - 281.5

I just worked out - today was the first day I really felt like not doing it at all. I'm feeling discouraged today, and lonely. I got up to start the washer and had to yell at myself in the laundry room that I was not sitting back down until I worked out. Funny thing is, it was probably the best workout I've had so far. I guess the anger fueled me.

So, exercise - 4 rounds of Chammak Challo, 4 rounds of Marjaani Marjaani, one round of Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte, and a cool down of Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai.

Dinner last night - 8 oz. steak with horseradish aioli, 1 Campari tomato, 4 radishes, handful of blueberries

Breakfast - 8 oz. steak with horseradish aioli

Lunch - same as breakfast, with 4 radishes and 1/2 a Campari tomato.

Please, let me start losing weight soon.

Day seven - 282

Dinner yesterday - 3 oz. hamburger, 5 oz. steak, handful of blackberries
Breakfast - greek yogurt, peanut butter, 3 oz. steak
Lunch - 5 oz. lunchmeat turkey & roast beef, 5 slices of cheese, four green lettuce leaves

Exercise - 35 minutes of Marjaani Marjaani, Criminal, Chammak Challo, and Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai

Looks like I'm back where I started, although that's not exactly the case...

On the down side, carb deprivation is making me cranky and tired. My calves are killing me. My GI is in rebellion.

On the up side, I'm sleeping better than I have in months. I've watched some really great movies and fell in love a little with Shah Rukh Khan. I've learned some bad-ass dance moves and a few words in Hindi.

Most importantly, I've stayed the course. The scale may say I'm not on the right path, but my heart tells me I am.

Day Six - 283 (damn it to Hell)

Here I am one week in, a pound heavier than where I started.  Awesome.  There's just not much to say about that, is there?  

Dinner last night - Two Fuzzy's tacos on soft corn - one pulled pork and one grilled fish

Breakfast - greek yogurt and 2 TBS natural peanut butter

Starbucks pity drink - grande "skinny" iced mocha (nothing skinny about it really - who are they trying to kid?)

Lunch - about 6 ounces of sliced roast beef and about 5 slices of horseradish cheddar cheese

Exercise - took a walk...I think I mentioned that I HATE going for walks...did four treks up and down the big hill to the pond.  Practiced the routine to "Marjani Marjani" from the film Billu Barber (that's a fun one - I'll have to remember that one when I'm feeling depressed, like today).

RA.One is due in the mail tomorrow from Netflix, so I have that to look forward to.  Otherwise, this is one of those days where success will be defined by merely not failing.

I will stay on the wagon, today, 'cause I've gotta.

Day Five - 279.5

Afternoon snack - 2 cans of sardines
Dinner - scrambled egg whites with herbs, 3 slices Swiss cheese
Breakfast - Greek yogurt and 1 handful of granola

Yesterday my CD and DVD copies of "Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi" showed up, and it dawned on me something that makes Shah Rukh Khan so appealing... dimples. Both Jon Stewart, my comedic idol and nerd crush, and Matt Damon, one of the most insanely hot guys to ever draw breath, also have them. One of those guys hits you with those things, and it's like a missle straight to whatever part of the brain causes swooning.

So, big deal, right? Here's the point: a Times of India article talked about the uptick in men coming to request plastic surgery to get Shah Rukh-style dimples.


Which leads me to today's fat reality check: fat people don't have a monopoly on body image issues. This person thinks his chin is too weak, this one prays for bigger boobs, that one is injecting collagen or botox or black mamba venom or some such craziness into their face. So when I watch Jon or Matt or Shah Rukh, or Angelina Jolie or Katy Perry or Kajol, I try to remember that I'm not meant to be them. I'm meant to be me, the right me.

On that note, I smile with my perfectly straight teeth over fairly lovely green eyes and head out to sweat to my rapidly expanding Bolly Bomb playlist. Wanna join me? Just for today?

Day Four - 279.5

Last night I opted for the low-carb option of vodka for dinner. I promise that I don't make a habit of liquid meals, but sometimes it must be done. On the upside, I got another workout showing my best friend my new Bollywood moves. A great night.

This morning I rushed out to the mail to grab my new DVD (Sorry, Salman, I think Shah Rukh's got you beat...) and ended up taking a walk for 15 minutes. Walking is NOT a "sustainable lifestyle choice" for me, because, well, it sucks. I did 20 minutes of practice on my "Criminal" routine - I think when they mentioned "the way that booty go, 'pop, pop, pop'", what I'm doing is not exactly what they had in mind. Practice makes perfect...

Breakfast - Greek yogurt & 1/3 cup granola
Lunch - steak fajitas with no guac and no tortillas. Resisted the chips and salsa, which is a real accomplishment. I'd like to say I didn't even miss them, but I did.

My kids asked me today why I've been dancing so much, and I told them the truth: 'cause I've gotta. One more day...

Day 3 - 281

You're not supposed to weigh every day - demoralizing and defeating right? Not me. This is the moment each day where I really look at my life. I look at the scale, I look at the mirror, and I look at who I am. Right now. No more secrets from myself, or from you, I guess.

Dinner last night - gross. Two spoons of peanut butter and a glass of milk, followed 20 minutes later by two can of sardines. Definitely time to shop.

A note on my new Bollywood addiction. I was trolling around the Internet and found a series on TLC India (that's what I said, people) about life with Shah Rukh Khan. It seems that he has a strict low-carb diet, South Beach style. Of course he works out like three hours a day, but. baby steps, right.

I've done the low carb thing and had great results before. Problem was that I got lazy and complacent - it was a "diet" and not a "lifestyle". God, how many times have I heard THAT???? "It's a lifestyle, J. You have to become your eating plan.". No shit, really????So, since I've gotta, we're gonna start the "lifestyle" once again. Lunch - broccoli and canned chicken.

Did my 30 minutes of Bollywood jam, plus a new project - I'm going to learn the routine for "Criminal". At 120 pounds less, it's gonna look awesome. Today, I'm just chafed.

Still Day Two...a New Hobby

Okay, so I'm used to singing along when I dance around, but Hindi isn't exactly easy to pick up. I'm a visual learner, I'm going to try the "learn Hindi via Bollywood tunes " method and see how I do.
I got my very-anti dance husband to spend the week-end clean-up time doing some Bollywood dance party to the Soundtrack of RA.One, which insane, by the way ( although I gotta say it... Shahrukh Khan is seriously growing on me - yum, I think.)

Anyhoo, in honor of my husband, in whom I see God every day, I'm starting with the song,"Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai", with means "I See God in You" From Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (A Match Made in Heaven). Remember, it's all in the epiglottis!

Tu Hi To Jannat Meri, Tu Hi Mera Junnon
(You’re my heaven, You’re my possession)
Tu Hi To Mannat Meri, Tu Hi Rooh Ka Sukun
(You’re my prayers, You’re my soul’s comfort and peace)

Tu Hi Ankhiyon Ki Thandak, Tu Hi Dil Ki Hai Dastak
(You’re my eyes mist, You’re my heart beat)

Aur Kuch Na Janu Mein, Bas Itna Hi Jaanu
(There is nothing more I know, Only thing I know is)

Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu (x2)
(I see God in you, My Love what should I do x2)

Sajde Sae Jhukta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
(My head bows, My Love what should I do)

Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
(I see God in you, My Love what should I do)

Kaise Hai Yeh Doori, Kaise Majboori
(How’s this distance, How’s this helplessness)

Maine Nazaron Se Tujhe Choo Liya
(I touched you with my eyes)

O O, Kabhi Teri Khusboo, Kabhi Teri Baatein
(O O, Sometimes your fragrance, Sometimes your talks)

Bin Maange Yeh Jahan Paa Liya
(I got this world without asking)

Tu Hi Dil Ki Ha Rounak, Tu Hi Janmon Ki Daulat
(You’re the light and happiness of my heart, You’re the eternal wealth)

Aur Kuch Na Janu Mein, Bas Itna Hi Jaanu..
(There is nothing more I know, Only thing I know is)

(Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu) x2
(I see God in you, My Love what should I do) x2

Sajde Sae Jhukta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
(My head bows, My Love what should I do)

Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
(I see God in you, My Love what should I do)

Vaasdi Vaasdi Vaasdi, Dil Di Dil Vich Vaasdi
Naasdi Naasdi Naasdi, Dil Ro Ve The Naasdi

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
(God make this Pair)

Vaasdi Vaasdi Vaasdi, Dil Di Dil Vich Vaasdi
Naasdi Naasdi Naasdi, Dil Ro Ve The Naasdi

Cham Cham Aaye, Mujhe Tarsaaye
(Whenever musical rhythm of raindrops come, Makes me pine and thirsty)

Tera Sayaa Cher Ke Chumta
(Your shadow touch me by teasing)

O O, Tu Jo Muskaye, Tu Jo Sharmaye
(O O, Whenever you smile, When you become shy)

Jaise Mera Hai Khuda Jhomta
(Its like my God start dancing)

Tu Hi Meri Barkart, Tu Hi Meri Ibaadat
(You’re my success, You’re my worship)

Aur Kuch Na Janu Mein, Bas Itna Hi Jaanu..
(There is nothing more I know, Only thing I know is)

Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu (x2)
(I see God in you, My Love what should I do x2)

Sajde Sae Jhukta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
(My head bows, My Love what should I do)

Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
(I see God in you, My Love what should I do)

Vaasdi Vaasdi Vaasdi, Dil Di Dil Vich Vaasdi
Naasdi Naasdi Naasdi, Dil Ro Ve The Naasdi

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
(God make this Pair)

Day 2 -280.5

Last night's dinner - two grilled tacos from Fuzzy's. Normally I'd eat four, so it seemed like a good compromise. The nice things about Fuzzy's are that one, they're corn tortillas, so more fiber; and two, they're mostly lettuce as opposed to mostly rice or beans.

Today - half an egg white spinach omelette, half a pancake for breakfast, Greek yogurt and granola for lunch.

30 minutes of Bollywood - which bring's me to today's fat reality check: no matter how awesome your dance moves are, you are not cute dancing them at 281 pounds. Best to just watch SRK and not think too much.

Later...

Day One - 282

I'm 42 years old, and I weigh 282 pounds.

Today - cereal for breakfast, 3 spoons of peanut butter at lunch. About 6 songs worth of blubber-wiggling Bollywood groove. (that Shahrukh Khan guy...who knew, huh?)

You don't know me, but I'm telling my story. I can't be 43 and 300. I'm here because I've gotta.