My cousin died today. Apparently he was having chest pains last night and was rushed to the hospital where he had a stint put in. His parents, wife and children were told that the surgery went well. My aunt and uncle went home, and when they arrived back at the hospital this morning, he had died. Just like that - 50 years old, and gone. My aunt collapsed in the hospital, according to my mom, out of her mind with grief. His brothers are both being rounded up from out of the country - his younger brother and his identical twin. I remember being in his wedding - he was enormously tall, gawkish, nervous, and just a lovely, brilliant soul. His death is like a gunshot through the heart of my mother's family. She's flying home for the funeral - she hasn't been back in several years. How I wish for them all that it wasn't under such circumstances.
While I was talking to my mom, I started to sob. I told her that I didn't want her collapsing in the hospital because she'd outlived her daughter. And make no mistake: that is exactly where I'm headed if I fail this time. I'm pre-diabetic, I have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, poor circulation, ridiculous varicose veins, sleep apnea - all from being fat. I will not live another ten years, of that I have absolutely no doubt, if I can't make this change. So, when I feel like eating a bowl of pasta, or skipping my workout, I'm going to try to remember how I feel right now. The Bollywood movie reviews, the dancing, the music, and the Hindi are fun and fulfilling, but it's not why I'm here, typing in a blog that absolutely no one reads. I want to see my parents live to the end of their long lives. I want to see my sons turn in to the men they are destined to be. I want to see my beloved husband grow old and gray and withered, and grow that way right along with him. I am going to get up tomorrow and do this...cause I've gotta.
Hi There! This is Jjake from Bollywhat. I am a teacher too and have been crazy busy (beginning of the school year and all) so haven't posted there since you started posting. I am proctoring the ACT test this fine Saturday morning so I've been poking around Bollywhat and stumbled on your blog. You are doing great from what I can see. I now it is discurouging that the weight isn't coming off quicker but you lost almost 10 pounds in 3 weeks! That is actually really good! 3 pounds a week is alot!
ReplyDeleteI lost 50 pounds once and worked like hell (weighing myself everyday helped me too) I was happy with 2 pounds a week. (unfortunelty I gained it all back and am needing to begin the process again..I want to go to India next summer and really don't want to be the typical fat american (plus the sweat and the chaffing uff dah!)I am 50 and have arthritus in my knees that I am hoping a weight loss will eleviate. Right now my daughter is helping with the food intake by saying "remember the temple steps" when I go for the ice cream. I haven't tried a specific diet just trying fewer carbs and cutting back on my sugar addiction. MAy have to go cold turkey on it though. I haven't worked in regular excersize yet because I am working late getting the school year up and running and am on my feet all day. But once things settle down in the next week or so I will work it in.
Anyway I haven't read all your entries yet just got to this point and wanted to express my condolences and to encourage you to keep going and not give up and to thank you for reminding me that I need to get more organised and disciplined if I am going to be tromping up and down temple steps in the middle of the humidity, heat and monsoon weather that awaits me next year. I've gotta too! ;)
You can PM me on Bollywhat once you have 25 posts..Hang in there!
You nailed it exactly! I'm hoping for a trip over Holi 2014, and I'm hoping to be in "temple steps form" by then - and hoping to have saved enough $$$ to go, as well! So glad to see you here - it'll keep me honest , knowing I'm not just blogging to empty space...
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