I finished watching
Devdas. This day was so inexplicably shitty, it just seemed like the perfect ending. And oh, it was. Betrayal, madness, death:
Devdas had it all. I knew, knew, knew that I would be profoundly sad at the end of this movie, and it absolutely did not disappoint. Honestly though, it's pretty cathartic. I had a big, fat, nasty, ugly cry, and now I actually feel a little bit better. The scale is back to where it was before, but now I just don't trust it whatsoever. Whatever happened to my ankle has gotten progressively worse, and so now today it hurts so badly that I didn't even work out. I'll have to try tomorrow no matter what, because if I have any hope of getting off this plateau, my workouts are going to have to come up a notch. I so wanted a cookie today. Isn't that stupid? They were sitting there, and it isn't even as if they looked that good. It was just that I felt like I deserved one. That ridiculous, toxic self talk. Again, how stupid. I managed to resist: I suppose I should celebrate that, but I mostly I just feel like an idiot. You can see why
Devdas was the perfect film for me today. I am in a cold, blue, funk...I need to get over myself.
Breakfast - Coffee and an Atkins bar
Lunch - a correct portion of southwest chicken casserole
Snack – an Atkins bar
Dinner - An incorrect portion of mozzarella cheese with balsamic vinegar
Exercise – none, dammit... except crying over poor, dead Shah Rukh Khan. Ugh. Even to myself I sound like a pathetic cat lady.
SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!
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