Day 137 - 241.8: Mission Accomplished...?

Honestly, I'm not very good at finishing what I start. My life is filled with the half done: half folded laundry, half graded papers, half-made projects, half-assed efforts. I am so easily distracted by both the mundane and the ridiculous, it can be almost crippling. That's why it is especially fulfilling for me to be able to dust off my hands and say, "job done".

This weekend stretches out before me with an endless list of tasks that must be completed. At times, the goals I set for myself are impossible, really. I fail before I even start, defeated by an overwhelming agenda. Often I simply can't even bring myself to begin. So how do I combat this life-threatening ennui? If I can't even get my weekend chores done, how can I change my life?

It's a sobering thought. I suppose I will tackle the necessary deeds of the weekend the same way I tackle staying on the plan: I will get up tomorrow, I will say to myself, "Just for now, I will do what is necessary." Hopefully, neither the plan nor the to-do list will defeat me.

Breakfast – latte and almonds
Lunch – the innards of three street tacos
Dinner – Pork rind nachos: not nearly as good as the first time

Exercise – decorating the tree. It doesn't really count, but it's better than sitting on my ass watching television...marginally.

Day 135 - 241: Creeping Crud

Feel like ass. There it is.

Breakfast - Yummy breakfast taco innards from the gas station. I'm not being sarcastic....they were awesome.
Lunch - skipped: lunch duty - awesome. (That was sarcasm.)
Dinner - a massive protein fix that didn't help me feel better and probably set me back two weeks.

Exercise - none. No excuse. I feel like shite, but I'm not dying. I should have made it happen.

Looking at my tree, and looking for the strength for a better tomorrow.

And, because it's like chicken soup for the fangirl soul, some Bollywood comfort food:

Day 132 - 241.8: I Had My Moment

So, tired - it's hard to come back after a holiday. Definitely about to crash, but I wanted to let you know: I had my moment of joy and peace in front of, "o, Christmas Tree". And like a solar panel, I absorbed the energy of that tree and that moment to face the mystery that is tomorrow.

Breakfast - almonds and the latte (back off)
Lunch - Dickey's BBQ 2 meat plate with double green beans
Dinner - slice of cheese

Exercise - 40 minutes of Jazzercize...I'm avoiding the floor work. Got some issues I'll need to talk out there pretty soon...

Day 131 - 241.6: All the Trimmings

Well, even though I feel confident that this weight is a bullshit number, you can't help but be buoyed up by such good news. Plus, I spent the day doing one of my most emotionally comforting activities: decorating Christmas trees. I love digging the ornaments out of the closet, gently unwrapping each treasure, and finding this year's honorees their perfect holiday homes. I climbed up and down the stepladder at least 400 times today, moving ornaments, rearranging, adding a ribbon here and a snowflake there. I only managed to get one tree fully complete: the second one, new this year, is still a work in progress. It was necessary to expand my canvas, because I gleefully confess to somewhat of an ornament addiction. I will end up decorating two trees with essentially the same number of ornaments that I used on a single tree last year, and still have over 200 ornaments on hiatus for this season. That won't stop me from picking up "just a couple more" before January, in addition to the ornaments I tend to get from students and the little masterpieces my sons will create here and there over the next month.

At night during the holiday season, after everyone heads off to bed, I sit in the dark and the silence and look at my tree shining. It fills me with an all-too-brief measure of profound peace. In that moment, all is well. So tomorrow, weight up or down, work up or down, parenting up or down, at 11:00 PM, I will be joyful. Join me.

Breakfast - Mexican omelette from Marquez Bakery
Lunch - oops...
Dinner - ground beef with pico de gallo from Marquez Bakery

Exercise - up the ladder, down the ladder, up the ladder, down the ladder...

Day 128 - 246: Thankfulness – The Good, the Bad, and the Stupid

On this great American day of gratitude, allow me to list some of the things that I most appreciate:

- I am grateful that I had a beautiful turkey to eat this year. I am equally grateful that I did not have to cook it.
- I am grateful for the loving family that I have to share said turkey with, even my brother, who took out my eye dodgeball style.
- I am grateful for my children, who love me at any size.
- I am grateful for my husband, who fell in love with the woman that I was, and still loves the woman that I am.
- I am grateful for green beans: the crossover hit between Thanksgiving feast and low-carb diet.
- I am grateful for three-hour alternating doses of children's Advil and children's Tylenol... and so is my older son.
- I am grateful for the countless thousands of hours of dance lessons which made it possible for even a 42 year-old fat girl to shake it to the Bollywood.
- I am grateful for my mother, who gave up so much to make those aforementioned dance lessons possible, and who provided an amazing low-carb Thanksgiving meal for me today.
- I am grateful for my dad, who loves me enough to stay out of my diet, even though he wants to invade it with a torrent of advice so, so badly.
- I am grateful for my friend Karen, who holds me accountable without ever making me feel shamed.
- I am grateful for my friend Celina, whose unfailing love helped me out of the hole.
- I am grateful to Salman Khan for making the movie Marigold, even though it sucked so badly. If it wasn't for him, I would never have gotten started on this journey.
- I am grateful for Shahrukh Khan, who made me fall in love with dance all over again.
- I am grateful for YouTube, which makes it possible for me to star in Main Hoon Na, Om Shanti Om, Kal Ho Naa Ho, and RA.One, all in the privacy of my own home.
- I am grateful for the Internet, where I can tell my story to everyone...and no one.

And finally, I am grateful for this mind, this heart, and even this body. Especially this body, that has survived so much abuse, so many broken promises, and gets up each time for one more round. May I someday earn its forgiveness.

Breakfast - almonds and coffee w/sugar-free creamer
Thanksgiving - 7ish oz. of turkey, green beans, green salad, and a scoop of guacamole
Dessert - low carb coconut cheesecake cup
Dinner - more green beans with mayo (you can blame THAT on my West Virginia relatives)
Dessert again - another cup

Exercise - fork to mouth

The 1 AM Movie Review - Hello Brother, and a side of Crow (Duplicate-style)

Oh, brother. Where do I begin here?

I really came down hard on the movie Duplicate back in August - I trashed SRK's performance on both the Babloo and the Manu sides of his dual role. In fairness, I was so put off by this skeevy little tongue thing that the Manu character did, I had a hard time concentrating on the rest of the film. Plus, I watched the utterly delicious Main Hoon Na the same day, which skewed my view even further.  But, here's the thing: a couple of people in the BollyWHAT Forum gave it rave reviews. Not all, mind you, but a couple of people whose taste has tended to mirror mine.  A second thing happened at around the same time: I pretty much ran out of Shahrukh Khan movies on Netflix and forced myself to start branching out into other actors' work. I saw a couple of movies by Ashkay Kumar and Saif Ali Khan and thought to myself, "These are actually pretty cute." A good number of those movies had received a "flop "rating, and I thought, "This might be my genre – the stupid movie." So I put Duplicate back on the queue and added Hello Brother. Both movies showed up the same day.

Now, remember - I understood going in that these movies had been rated "flops" when they came out about a year and a half apart, in 1998 and 1999. The movies had much in common: crude humor, silly characterizations, a whackado plot line, and a dastardly villain role. But now, after seeing many many Bollywood films from this time, the difference is undeniable: where Shahrukh Khan plays even these idiotic characters (and they are stupid: I am not budging from that position) with a lovability that is hard to resist, Salman Khan simply seems ridiculous. Plus, the dancing is sort of half-assed looking, as so much of Salman Khan's tends to be. Here's the bottom line: Salman Khan is meant to be an action hero.

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Here's the other problem with Hello Brother: Arbaaz Khan, Salman Khan's real-life brother, is bad in this movie. I'm not kidding - he's really awful. He's trying to play the tough cop role that Salman should be playing, and everyone who's watching knows it. Even Rani Muhkerjee, who I love, can't save Hello Brother.

Back to Duplicate. How I hate being wrong. I wanted to hate this movie again, so much. But, here's what happened: I got over the tongue thing (mostly, although-ugh). When I did, I realized that a lot of the movie was actually pretty fun. Shahrukh Khan's characters are still pretty ridiculous in the movie; but, I realized after watching some other movies that he was probably intentional about it...along the lines of Leslie Nielsen in Airplane. And so, through that lens, SRK sells it. The dancing in this film has that joyful exuberance that typifies Shahrukh, which makes up (for the most part) for many of the film's defects.

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A couple of points on which I should be clear: first of all, I am an unashamed, unapologetic SRK fangirl. If it comes down to a comparison between Shahrukh and Salman, for me there is no contest. Second off, I have certainly not decided the movie Duplicate is some fantastic film that everyone should go see.

But, even with all that, I feel I'm not steering you astray when I say that as crappy movies go, I'm going to have to rate Duplicate way, WAY over Hello Brother.

Day 127 – 245.4: A Backhanded Sign of Progress

Fat girl reality check: even if you lose weight, you're going to have to live with your stretch marks. And for any one not seriously overweight who's reading this, I am not talking about the kind of sweet little stretch marks you get when you gain a few pounds. I'm talking about a full-on zebra print that goes all the way around your body across your midsection, from just below your rib cage to right above your knees. A person doesn't really notice their stretch marks when they're at their fattest because, well, they're stretched. But lose some real pounds and you will see exactly what your skin has had to do to accommodate all of that weight. I still have maybe 70, 80 pounds left to lose, and I'm already thinking to myself, "What in the hell am I going to do with all of this extra skin?" It's progress, but it's not pretty.

Breakfast - 1/4 cup of low-carb raspberry cheesecake stuff...eew. NOT a breakfast item.
Lunch - wait for it....spicy pork rind nachos. Oh, yeah. That's what I said.
Dinner - steak burrito bowl from Freebirds with enough jalapenos to launch a nuclear missile

Exercise - Two sessions of Jazzercise – trying to gear up for a possible two days off of the exercise routine. I hope that doesn't happen, but with my husband gone and me heading to the parentals' house for Turkey Day, it could be tough to fit in the work out; but, I'm so addicted to "Maahi Ve" right now that I will probably find a way.

Watching the movie Hello Brother: a visceral reminder of why I love Shahrukh Khan so much. More on that at 1 AM.

Day 125 - 244.2: Okay, Then

So, apparently this bitching thing is really working out for me. "Oh hail, ye gods of weight loss, and hear my cry." Maybe I needed to expel 2 pounds worth of hot air through my primordial screaming and gnashing of teeth. The ways of metabolism are often inexplicable to me.

Now, I certainly won't be putting these 2 pounds in the "weight-loss goodbye bank" just yet, as I've discovered with heart-wrenching clarity that each new mark is not secure until it's been around a few days (if then). And yet, I can't lie – it feels pretty damn great to finally see some progress after a couple of weeks of agonizing plateau.

Breakfast - Atkins bar
Lunch - Atkins bar and almonds
Dinner - a sketchy scrounge-fest of smoked salmon, pepperoni sausage bites, blueberries, and blackberries. Yes, it was EXACTLY as unsatisfying as it sounds.

Exercise – I did an hour of Jazzercise. The ab work is about to kill me – I hate, hate, hate floor work. It makes me feel uncoordinated, fat; wallowing like a beached whale. Nevertheless, if there is any connection between brutal Jazzercise and today's weight loss, I'm going to pursue it.

Tonight: a second go at the movie Duplicate. I'm going to try to put the whole "tongue-licking" thing out of my head and try to keep an open mind...wish me luck.

Day 124 - 246.2 (DAMN IT): Thinking ANOTHER Curse Word, Plus the 1 AM Movie Review: Kal Ho Naa Ho

WHAT the HELL is going on here? I'm so, so frustrated. Not much else to say on that.

Breakfast - casserole
Late lunch/early dinner - 2/3 of an In n Out Double Double, Protein Style

Exercise - 25 minutes of learning "Maahi Ve" and trying not to cry the whole time, then 15 more minutes of BW Booty Shake (Chammak Challo, Marjaani Marjaani, Dard-e-Disco, and Criminal - feelin' like some SRK therapy today...)

I mentioned yesterday that I watched Kal Ho Naa Ho at last. And oh, OH, it was just as adorable and lovely and agonizing as I'd feared. I sobbed the ugly, snotting, headache crying that you just can't seem to turn off. It absolutely scraped my sentimental innards across the coals; nevertheless, I'm here to tell you this: if you're an SRK fan at all, this movie is a must, MUST watch. He's so handsome in this movie that your chest will actually ache watching him. His acting is at his sassy, sexy, vulnerable best. Plus, Saif Ali Khan is looking fairly adorable, as well, and doing some pretty damn good acting, yaar. The story is sweet-spirited and poignant, overkill at times but still appealing. Preity Zinta is likable and funny, and Jaya Bachchan brings a compelling quality to the character of Zinta's mother. The dancing numbers are big and glorious, and the songs are classics.

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People, listen up: if you're a romance junkie, then bear up under the hassle of subtitles and WATCH THIS FILM. I swear, you won't regret it for a moment. But make sure your tissues are at the ready...

Day 123 - 246.2: Battle Fatigue

Frustrated. Distracted. Touchy. The process is taking its toll. I'm impatient for results. I feel cheated when every good choice doesn't have an immediate positive consequence. I know that's illogical, but there it is. I haven't blogged in several days, and that was a choice - a poor one. I hid from my reality: my foot injury is affecting my ability to work out, and my lack of exercise affects my weight loss. Short, simple, and shitty.

But I'm still fighting. I worked out today: not the full time I needed, but enough to get my metabolism going, and enough to test my foot. I haven't strayed from the diet. And I'm back here tonight, giving voice to the struggle. 'Cause I've gotta...and 'cause I want it, so very badly. Success is out there, and slowly, but inexorably, I'm coming for it.

Breakfast - almonds and coffee
Lunch - Ribeye salad from Fuddrucker's
Dinner - rotisserie chicken and cheese

Exercise - 30 minutes of the BW Booty Shake, with a new song included: "Maahi Ve" from the film Kal Ho Na Ho. It is a great song and a spectacularly fun number to dance, but I watched the movie today, and now that I know what immediately follows it, I might not be able to do it without crying every time. But oh, he is SO delicious in this movie. Just...wow.

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Day 119 - 245.8: Being a Part of Bollywood History

I went to the premiere of Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Yash Chopra's final film, this evening.  (And by evening, I mean night.)  It was full, it was loud, it was late on a work night, the chick next to me kept taking pictures of the screen - with her FLASH, no less - but it was absolutely worth it.  People cheered at the screen, they gasped in horror when Shahrukh Khan actually kissed Katrina Kaif full on the lips (it's a long story), they danced to the music, they chattered non-stop in Hindi during the intermission, they clapped at the end.  It was a snapshot in history - the swan song of a Bollywood giant - and for all the movie was flawed, the moment was perfect.  I'm glad I stayed up until this ungodly hour for it.




Breakfast - a latte
Lunch - egg salad
Dinner - half of a Fuzzy's pork salad

Exercise - car dancing on the way to and from the theater

The 1AM Movie Review - Jab Tak Hai Jaan

 - SPOILER ALERT -

Okay, so here's the good news:  Shahrukh Khan is hot, hot, HOT in this movie.  All of the lead-up with concerns that he's too old for this kind of part, and that the girls would look like his daughters:  once he rides into the very first scene, it's easy to put all of that out of your head.  While he's not exactly believable as a 28-year old, he's not the only one trying to pull that off (yes, Aamir Khan - I'm looking at you and your other 2 Idiots), and frankly, he's better at it than most.  And, the world-weary SRK of the present is totally, totally workin' for me.  The girls are both absolutely lovely:  Katrina Kaif looks as beautiful as I've ever seen her, and Anushka Sharma looks amazing with a body to die for.  And great hair.  That's important for me - everyone has great hair.

The other high point:  the dancing and music.  The dancing, while not the technically challenging thing I've seen from this crew, was entertaining and appropriate for the film.  Katrina finally shook off some stiffness and really seemed natural in much of the dancing, which is a nice change from Ek Tha Tiger - still can't work out what the hell was going on there.  Most of the songs have this great acoustic vibe that works for the movie and for a modern music audience.  The song Jiya Re is fabulous: I car-danced like a big fool all the way home from the theater after I bought it on iTunes while the credits were rolling.  



So, now the bad news: The story is fairly insane.  Now, Yashji, God rest his soul, was never known for the most realistic of stories.  A snow-shoveler/street musician/waiter falling in love with a "daughter of the gentry" corporate executive?  Okay, fine.  Let's go with that.  It is, after all, SRK.  He's pretty damn hard to resist even as a day laborer, right?  That's not the problem.  The problem lies in the bargaining with God, then breaking up because God told me to, then I can't come back to London because she thinks I'm cursed, then I really AM cursed because I get hit by a car AGAIN, and then I lose my memory....come on now.  I'm tired just typing.  The totally overwrought story made it hard to get invested.

And a personal problem for me:  I'm just not lovin' Katrina Kaif.  It's not her fault, really - it's not like she's done any one thing that I watched and thought, "Oh, Lordy, this is bad, bad, BAD."  And there is some naughty chemistry there:  it was a little steamy, that's for sure.  But I just don't dig it.  When the big shocker on-screen kiss happened, I couldn't help but think to myself, "You broke the no-kiss streak with HER?"  Totally unfair, I know - it's not as if SRK said to himself, "Yep.  This is the one.  I'm goin' for it".  (Well, at least I HOPE he didn't...) On the other hand, I LOVED Anushka Sharma in this film.  Her enthusiasm just lit up the screen, and the chemistry between her and SRK seems sort of soft and gooey, like a hot fudge sundae.  I found myself throughout the film futilely rooting for her character Akira.  So, while the end was certainly expected, and fitting for the nature of the sweeping "love conquers all" them of a Yashji romance, I couldn't help but be a little disappointed that he was crying delicious SRK tears for Katrina.  I know, I know!  Totally unfair.  But there it is.

Having said all that, I'll end with this:  it was big, it was fun, it was sweet, and it was chock-full of wide-eyed, lower-lip nibbling, dimple-flashing, sexy beyond words Shahrukh Khan.  It's hard to complain too much....there's too much wistful sighing going on.  So for that alone, this movie gets an "I'm MUCH too easy to please" two thumbs up.

Day 116 - 245.0: Houston, We Have A Bone Spur

Anyone heard of a calcaneal spur? Well, I have, and not just today. I'm the textbook candidate for them. The come from a combination of two conditions: strain and inflammation of the Achilles' tendon; and plantar fasciitis. These two conditions come from...you guessed it: fat people doing exercise at too high an impact level,(me) and people walking around in bare feet (also me, but worse- I sometimes work out that way). It's a sharp, stabbing and/or throbbing pain directly through the heel. The pain resembles having a "Wolverine"-style spike growing directly out of the bottom of your heel...agony.

So, what's the treatment? Nothing good: exercise, but don't exceed your abilities (what does that even MEAN?); rest it with ice, elevation, and compression until it's healed (I teach SCHOOL, and didn't you just say exercise???); wear good shoes (meaning NOT cute) all the time; lose weight (that's what I was TRYING to do); and do a bunch of stretches.

So, here's what I'm taking from that: heels only once a week, morning stretches, no more working out barefoot in my living room, and ice after the Saturday double workout. If this isn't enough, I'm not sure what I'll do, but I am sure what I won't: I will not let this derail my progress.

At this moment, I'm about to step on my left foot and face Day 116. Deep breath...keep you posted.

Breakfast - Atkins bar
Lunch - no starch bowl at Ghengis Grill Mongolian Barbecue
Dinner - 6 hot wings

Exercise - what I had WANTED to blog about: I gave the Saturday double workout a try today, with 35 minutes of Jazzercise cardio followed by 55 minutes of Zumba strength and toning - it was brutal, and probably why my plantar fascia is acting up. But I don't care. I LOVED every agonizingly sweaty second, and I'm going to keep doing it. I'll find another way to treat my heel.

Day 115 - 245.0: Please Sir, May I Have Another?

There's something empowering about forcing yourself to work out even when your ass is dragging on the ground. This week has been crazy, bordering on the ridiculous: my kids had a wad of homework, I had a required curriculum meeting, plus I was partly responsible for campus literacy night, which had me at school or up working late several nights. Top that off with a field trip today, and you have me bordering on comatose by the time I got in the car at 4 PM. I had no intention of working out when I left school this afternoon. In fact, I had decided that I just might not do anything except lay on the couch. Then, about halfway home, I heard 'Chammak Challo' and thought to myself, "Let's just do it, damn it." By the time I made it home with my sons, I had psyched myself up for the ordeal.

When I walked in the front door, I didn't even bother to take off my work clothes. I just dropped my things, walked into the family room, turned on the YouTube, and queued up some Bhangra. So there I am, in blue jeans and a faculty shirt, sweating to a brutal Bhangra routine that I've never even tried before. It was bad-really, really bad. That shit is hard, people. Before I died of chafing and heat prostration, I changed into some workout clothes. Then it was 40 minutes of the revised BW Booty Shake with a Nilesh Zumba chaser. The situation didn't improve. Every step, every movement, I felt like I was slogging through molasses. You know that "runner's high" that people talk about? I think that's bullshit. Have I mentioned this before? I think that I have, and my position has not changed: at no point during this ridiculously painful workout do I say to myself, "Ahhhh...there we go. All of a sudden I feel fantastic."

But here's what does happen: I bully my way through this workout, and in the doing I find I am still alive, despite feeling like death the entire time. I realize that, for someone like me, a reasonably healthy person, being "too tired" to work out is a joke; just a thing I say in my bad head to excuse myself from doing what must be done. And so tonight, with no excuses in the way, I took my road less traveled: the right one.

Today, when I was weak, I was strong. That is my definition of success.

Breakfast - a latte (a moment of weakness)
Lunch - more of Karen's yummy chicken salad, 14 blueberries (I counted.  Who knows why.), sugar-free vanilla pudding
Dinner - 3 Little Caesar's wings

Exercise - umm...see above, and where have you been?

Day 114 - 246.2: Feelin' It

I'm in the zone. I'm not exactly sure when that happened, but I know that it's here now. Like a black cat in the dark, routine has sneaked up on me. I was reading a couple of my blog posts to some friends today, and I realized as I read that much of the angst that typified my earlier posts is gone now. In the reading of that disquiet, I discovered that I have been bestowed with a rare gift: peace.

Don't misunderstand: much of my life is still a test case in clusterf**kery. I'm working way too many hours, I have no idea if my students are learning what they're supposed to be, my sons are still kind of driving me and their teachers crazy, and I feel perpetually exhausted. But what I also have is the first taste of success, peeking through all of my drama like the tiny flowering Dogwood blossoms that burst through the snow in early February.

Something happened at work today - surprising and a bit unpleasant. However, I find it was a bit of a watershed moment. What I saw in this conflict was, quite simply, this: there, but for the grace of God (and Shahrukh Khan, and Jazzercise), go I. Silly, I know, but the day brought me to a shining moment of clarity: it's not that I can succeed; rather, it's that I am succeeding that fills me with the most profound contentment.

Now, instead of "I will", "I do". Maybe my new mantra... I'll have to try it on for size.

Breakfast - Atkins bar and almonds
Lunch - Atkins bar
Dinner - Karen's faboo chicken salad and 2 string cheeses

Exercise - nope, just on my feet for twelve hours: the exhaustion without the satisfaction. Boo-hiss.

Tomorrow - fingers crossed for Zumba...and Main Hoon Na for dessert, no matter how late it is (JONESING for a dose of SRK).

Day 113 - 247.6: A New Love Affair

I met him this evening for the first time:   he stood nonchalantly in the corner of the restroom, dressed to kill in his silver suit.  I glance his way, then I quickly avert my eyes - I don't want to seem too eager, but I must gain a closer look.  I edge toward him, weaving my way among the discarded towels and globs of toothpaste, pretending not to notice him.  I pass the garden tub when suddenly - magic.  Our eyes meet, I step to him, and the dance begins.

At first, just an admiration: how sleek, how svelte.  I inch one toe forward, testing the waters.  He lures me in further with his technical expertise, and I am entralled by the melodious jargon:  bone density, athlete mode, gender-specific settings.  It's like he was singing the song just for me.  I take the plunge, and joy!  Over a pound less - true love.  Then, our first quarrel: "What do you mean, my BMI is uncalculable?  What are you saying, I'm FAT?????"  I storm away in a rage.  But, how can I stay away?  He calculates my weight to the tenth of a pound.  Tenth!  It's like we're soulmates. 

But not everyone is pleased.  From behind the door, my ex cries out, "Please!  Don't leave me!  I promise not to "accidentally" weigh you in at 310 pounds right after you exercise anymore!  It was just a system error!  I didn't mean it!"  One sad little tear streams down his battered Plexiglas face, but I am unmoved.  He has abused me for the last time.  I'm with a NEW man, now.

 

Breakfast - almonds

Lunch - Atkins bar and almonds

Dinner - In and Out Burger (the usual)

 

Exercise - Jazzercise (I'm really, really missing my evening Bollywood - something's gotta give, or I'm gonna lose it.  Know what I need?  A big, fat dose of Main Hoon Na.)

Day 112 - 249: Proud to be an American

Well, I didn't exercise. I didn't get my papers graded. I didn't finish the work I have for literacy night. But I did watch election results come in. Hour after hour, state after state, every moment. Many people I know think it's silly, even ridiculous. I think election day is a celebration of what makes our democracy so unique and amazing, And I revel in it all: pundits back and forth, presidential historians, the man on the street that doesn't really know what he's talking about, the painful concessions beach, the crow of triumph from the winning candidate.. I am especially pleased because my candidate won the election, But basically I simply find myself proud to be a part of this process: a voice in the chorus of the Great American Democracy.

Breakfast - almonds
Lunch - chicken taco salad
Dinner - taco salad

Day 110 - 251: Paying the Piper

Well, I would have loved to get on the scale and seen no change, or even a bit off. Didn't happen. But I mostly stayed the course, and so I'm okay with where I landed. Tomorrow - dive back into the grind. It's shaping up to be an agonizing couple of weeks...just breathe...

Breakfast - a too-big portion of breakfast casserole
Lunch - still dealing with breakfast and carsickness
Dinner - taco salad
Snack - almonds. Yeah, you know why.

Exercise - cleaned up and unpacked - NOT aerobic.

Day 109 - No scale: a Tight Squeeze

I worked out. It wasn't easy, or pretty. Hoping not to have and audience of curious friends, I went into the cabin's bedroom which has working area about the size of a beach towel (see below). Then I realized I can't play my videos on my computer or iPad because I don't have a new enough version of iTunes. So, I am now relegated to trying do do the entire thing from memory. Nice. But hey, I'm game, right? I turn on my playlist and take the first step, only to realize that this old cabin has a pier foundation, which means very step is going to reverberate through the cabin and shake everyone's face. Mmm-hmm. Awesome. How do you solve that? Do the entire routine on your tiptoes, of course, making sure every step lands as if you we're trying to sneak to the bathroom at 2 AM. Doesn't sound like a very good workout, right? Wrong. It took twice as much strength in my legs and core to move with that level of control and speed. After 35 minutes of that, I had satisfyingly disgusting workout hair, the sure sign of success. Plus, right at the end, I got the nerve to come out and show the crowd of very curious friends that that collected outside my door how to Chammak Challo and Criminal.

In short - I OWNED it today.

Breakfast - breakfast casserole
Lunch - a southwest burger, no bun
Dinner - a couple of bites of pulled pork and a couple of bites of throw up dip (don't be afraid - it's actually called chile rellenos dip, and it's yummy)

Exercise - did my thing under duress: Chammak Challo, Marjaani Marjaani, Criminal, Dard-e-Disco, Deewangi Deewangi, all from memory - plus a little Chris Brown thrown in for freestyle.

Day 108 - 248: Cool in the Furnace

So, here I am, in the midst of girls' retreat excess - chips and cheese, crackers and hummus, Texas trash... the options for failure are endless. And yet, I'm good. Maybe it's because I spent all week prepping. Maybe it's because I had a big dinner. Maybe it's because I'm just over hummus. Whatever the reason, I look at the smorgasbord and say, "It's all good ." This weekend will be about the friends, not the food. Hallelujah!

Tomorrow, I'll be doing some grassroots work on building a Bollywood contingent at my school. Hadippa!

Breakfast - coffee and Atkins bar
Lunch - leftover barbecue
Dinner - KFC grilled chicken
Retreat snack - poppy seed chicken dip with celery

Exercise - none: I will workout tomorrow come Hell or high water

Day 107 - 249: Renaissance

I've briefly OD'd on NPR. Between Sandy coverage and election coverage, I feel as if there's a civil defense siren in my head blaring, "Holy shit! It's a crisis!" 24/7. I need a break. So, this weekend, I'm bonding with my buddies and my Bollywood. No news, no gut-churning anxiety over evil ads running in Ohio, no sixth-time-over crying jag rewatching President Obama and Governor Christie survey the unbearable devastation. I'm taking Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om, and they are going to WATCH, and they are going to love it, and we are going to start a MOVEMENT! Well, maybe not all that, but I am making everyone watch.

Friends, not food, friends, not food...I believe in fairies, I believe in fairies....

Breakfast - Atkins Bar
Lunch - Atkins Bar
Dinner - barbecue beef and sausage, no sauce, chile rellenos dip

Exercise - no, damnit. Boo, hiss!