Day 113 - 247.6: A New Love Affair

I met him this evening for the first time:   he stood nonchalantly in the corner of the restroom, dressed to kill in his silver suit.  I glance his way, then I quickly avert my eyes - I don't want to seem too eager, but I must gain a closer look.  I edge toward him, weaving my way among the discarded towels and globs of toothpaste, pretending not to notice him.  I pass the garden tub when suddenly - magic.  Our eyes meet, I step to him, and the dance begins.

At first, just an admiration: how sleek, how svelte.  I inch one toe forward, testing the waters.  He lures me in further with his technical expertise, and I am entralled by the melodious jargon:  bone density, athlete mode, gender-specific settings.  It's like he was singing the song just for me.  I take the plunge, and joy!  Over a pound less - true love.  Then, our first quarrel: "What do you mean, my BMI is uncalculable?  What are you saying, I'm FAT?????"  I storm away in a rage.  But, how can I stay away?  He calculates my weight to the tenth of a pound.  Tenth!  It's like we're soulmates. 

But not everyone is pleased.  From behind the door, my ex cries out, "Please!  Don't leave me!  I promise not to "accidentally" weigh you in at 310 pounds right after you exercise anymore!  It was just a system error!  I didn't mean it!"  One sad little tear streams down his battered Plexiglas face, but I am unmoved.  He has abused me for the last time.  I'm with a NEW man, now.

 

Breakfast - almonds

Lunch - Atkins bar and almonds

Dinner - In and Out Burger (the usual)

 

Exercise - Jazzercise (I'm really, really missing my evening Bollywood - something's gotta give, or I'm gonna lose it.  Know what I need?  A big, fat dose of Main Hoon Na.)