Day 168 - 234.8: Auld Lang Syne

2012 didn't start out as a banner year: not bad, really - just a sort of let-down. 2011 had ended with an enormous goal being met as I received my Master's degree, but 2012 was offering up not much in the way of opportunity. Without something to occupy every waking moment, and some sleeping ones, I found myself at mental and emotional loose ends. Years of bad habits and worse self-talk began to dominate my life. It was a sort of gradual, seemingly inexorable slide that I could neither pinpoint nor stop. By mid-year, I was in a bad, bad place, and I didn't really even know how I got there.

And then, a light turned on. A strange, wonderfully silly movie made me smile, then another made me tap my foot, and another made me dance. A look in the mirror made me scared and pissed instead of sad and defeated. A moment of insight turned into a public statement of accountability. An actor immortal to half the planet but utterly unknown in my world became my workout partner, language coach, and fangirl crush. One day at a time, I began to return to my life. I began losing weight, which was awesome, but more importantly, I found my inner smile again.

And here, on the edge of the new year, I look back on 2012 and know that I haven't met any goal for weight, or fitness, or even faithful blog writing. But here's what I did do: I began. I stood up. I moved my ass. I chose what I ate. I decided to live differently. Some days I failed, but every day I faced with intention.

I can live with that. Come on 2013...I'm waiting.