Day 153 - 240: Highs and Lows

It's been a whirlwind couple of days, full of great joy and unspeakable sadness. On Friday, I learned with the rest of the country that in a classroom far from my own, and yet somehow right next door, an act of unfathomable violence took the lives of teachers just like me and of children just like my younger son. How do we reassure our children about their safety in the face of such a violation? How do we let our own children walk out the door to face the risk of such violence and uncertainty? I don't have answers.

That same night I had the great honor to be selected by my peers as Teacher of the Year. Afterwards a group of close friends came to my house and sang and danced and laughed the night away.

Today I had the opportunity to go to the House that Jerry Built and watch my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers with my mom. My Steelers lost, in overtime, as is typical – ripping my heart out of my chest. But I got to spend an afternoon with my favorite person watching my favorite team play my favorite sport. It's hard to feel anything but joy in that.

Upon returning home, I sat down with my husband and listened to President Obama's remarks at the memorial for those precious fallen children and brave educators in Newtown. I look over and see my silly, precious tiara right laying on a table next to a president speaking of teachers who died for their students this week.

I feel love, and gratitude, and pain. I feel so vulnerable, so small.... so resolved. I will walk into my classroom tomorrow, and I will hold their hands, and I will comfort their hearts, and I will teach their minds. I will go to school, and I will do the job. And then I will come home, I will hold my boys tight, and I will fill them with a mother's love.

I've been blessed with this life, and so I will live it...'cause I've gotta.

Friday:
Breakfast - latte
Lunch - Atkins bar
Dinner - Italian sausage and caprese salad
Dessert - a couple of random cocktails...

Exercise - frenetic party jam and Just Dance Wii

Saturday:
Brunch – fantastic omelette at Vickery Blvd. Café
Dinner – Freebirds burrito bowl and a piece of grilled chicken
Snack – another piece of grilled chicken

Exercise - Jazzercise

Sunday:
Breakfast – two pieces of grilled chicken
Lunch – uninspiring steak and broccoli from Chili's
Dinner – two more pieces of grilled chicken

Exercise - contact football fan