Day 217 - 229: Emotional Eating Sucks

You know why? Because it's the worst of both worlds.

First - You try to stuff food in the giant hole where real emotion should be. Those emotions that are hard to face? Those are the ones you need to cope, to learn, to grow. Sadness is a feeling of value. It cannot dominate your life, but it deserves its time.

Second - You put away a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies (or, in my case, a taco salad large enough for the cast of Les Mis), and guess what? Now you get to add one more negative emotion to your all ready groaning buffet of negativity: guilt.

So, what have we accomplished here? Instead of looking at my sadness, trying to determine if through the sadness there are solutions, I have managed to stuff my face with at least 9 pounds of imminently forgettable lunch. Now I'm sad about two things instead of one, guilty, and incredibly bloated.

Win-win...for the DEVIL on my back. For me, it's a day wasted walking backwards.

So, truth: I was deeply sad today about something that happened in the "not bloggable" area of my life. I even tried to do it the right way at first, by setting aside the food, putting my head down, and having a good long cry. I should have just thrown the salad away. I almost did, and then, I thought that devil thought that has no place in my mind: well you might want that later. No need to waste, after all. Such bullshit. After 3 hours of ignoring the accursed salad, I gave in and went after it like a woman on Death Row. Am I less sad? Of course not. I'm most assuredly more, because now my pure, beautiful sadness has to share with ugly guilt, which I'm SURE doesn't bathe enough and smells like day-old avocado ranch.

Emotional coping tip for the day: Join with me people: we feel, we emote - we laugh, we cry, we gnash our teeth, right? NO FOOD ALLOWED!!! Let's make sure our food is filling only our bellies, because everywhere else you try to put it, it'll just rot.

Replacement behavior modeling tip for the day: replace eating a cookie with...a chicken wing! Or celery or something. Small steps...I swear, I'm tiptoeing right there with ya!