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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Day 19 - 277

There is always a thread loose in the fabric of my life. When I've had my physical health under control, I've spent my family into ridiculous debt. When I concentrated on my education, my health went out the window. When I focus on one thing, another unravels. It's not an excuse - people everywhere do more with less every day. I am gifted with a great life, a worthwhile career, a stunningly beautiful family. I have motive, means, and opportunity to do right by myself and by the world. I don't know exactly what about me fails to rise to the challenge: is it an inherent laziness? Is it an unconscious sabotage from a poor self-esteem? Who knows. What I do know is that tomorrow is the first real test of my resolve, and I worry. I'm having a back-to-school lunch for my team (there's the worthy career), and I know that while they mean to be so supportive, they can be a hotbed of enabling. I've planned to make fajita salad - it seems a good compromise between what "regular people" eat and what I am trying to eat. I'm offering chips and salsa, which I must resist. I'm also offering wine, which is also a no-no. I hope that by writing it here, by giving voice to the temptation, that the universe will support me for one more day.

Dinner last night - pesto baked chicken
Breakfast - cheese (eewww, I know)
Lunch - steak bites with horseradish sour cream
Dinner - more lunch

Exercise - danced about 25 minutes to my iPad music mix today: Bollywood/dance/R&B favorites, including my boys Usher and Chris Brown, some Gaga, and the cannot do without Chammak Challo, Marjaani Marjaani, and Deewangi Deewangi (so many double names in Bollywood!).

Deep breath....one more day...'cause I've gotta.

PS. I watched "Mere Brother Ki Dulhan" Imran Khan and Katrina Kaif, and I thought it was laugh out loud funny. Plus, this guy is a cutie! I mean, he's not Shah Rukh, but....

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